DM 2018: Sex or Shower? The finale
By ,

    It’s gettin’ hot in here, but dancers are not taking off all their clothes. Instead, they put on more, in the form of matching t-shirts. As exhausted dancers tried not to ugly-cry to “Eye of the Tiger,” it was clear sex was the last thing on their minds. Block 10 sealed the deal and declared "Shower" the winner of this year’s poll.

    While sex was the clear winner for the first half, shower took the lead at the beginning of Block 6. Sex attempted to make a comeback and tied the game by Block 9, but it had a short-lived victory. Shower won out in the end, because y’all are fucking scrubs.

    For the seventh year in the row, NBN’s brave reporters risked it all to get the DM information everybody wanted most: Would dancers prefer sex or a shower? In past years, shower has won in Block 10 three times, while sex won twice. (For whatever reason, 2013 has no Block 10 data. Maybe everyone was too busy thirsting after each other. But based on Block 9 data, sex won out.)

    Technically, according to our incredibly scientific data collection, this year was a tiebreaker in shower’s favor. Apparently all it takes to make Northwestern students want to shower is 30 straight hours of dancing.

    For those loyal NBN readers who have managed to stick it out this long, you have been rewarded with a purely coincidental graphical Easter egg. If you use your imagination, the two lines form a perfect rendition of stick-figure fornication. Make of this information what you will.

    ”This is not scientific by any measure, and would not stand up under high school statistics class standards.” –Andy Brown, in the 2016 Sex or Shower review.

    Research contributed by Victoria Alfred-Levow


    blog comments powered by Disqus
    Please read our Comment Policy.